Labels Are Awesome and They Suck

Cross-posted with FetLife, (although this one's a bit more visually-friendly this time around, in my opinion...)

When we first learn a term for something that we didn't know had its own word or its own phrase, when we first find out something has a label at all, it's awesome, amazing, "Wait, there's enough people that share my experience that there's a word for this thing?!"  As you read through the rest of this post, don't forget this, labels are powerful for those who need them.

When we're first getting to know each other, whether it be things that identify us, or turn ons, or limits, or just any general info about ourselves, labels are useful in directing conversation, in providing quick bullet points to touch on later.  Any label is a branch of conversation waiting to be tapped.

Labels are a great communication tool... but they are the beginning of a conversation, nothing more!  Many people make the mistake of assuming that they automatically understand someone because they know what they believe that label to mean.  People function well in categorizing things into boxes, and labels are what get put on those boxes, but it also prevents people from seeing the individuals in those boxes as individuals sometimes.

Revisiting an Old Writing, Part 2: Where "Bratty" Can Be Fun

Cross-posted to FetLife, if preferred for commentary, loves, etc.

Disclaimer: This is regarding what I can enjoy in brats, and this should not be considered universal nor 100% comprehensive by any stretch, same goes for the previous writing regarding what I dislike.

So in my last post, I had things to say regarding frustrations, anxieties, awkwardness, and discomfort with people who may get carried away with what they feel a brat is.  Now, about where brats are fun...

Revisiting an Old Writing - "I Dun Wanna!"

Cross-posted to FetLife, if preferred for commentary, loves, etc.

Several years ago, I wrote a post on FetLife titled "I Dun Wanna!" *sigh*, and my views on the topic have shifted to some degree, partly with my interests actually changing over time, partly with figuring out more about what I enjoyed even back then, and significantly in just seeing and learning more about the scene, the people, and interpersonal dynamics within it.

For those who cannot see FetLife, I'll sum the original post up as my stating that I didn't like brats, why I didn't (effectively disliking "I dun wanna!" without reason aside from feeling like saying it or to get reactions), and that while I didn't care for brats, it's not a dislike of the person but the not wishing to partake in that form of dynamic and others can do what they like.  That is an incredibly gross overview, but hopefully that's as much as you'll need to follow along here, since it's so old that I will not be cross-posting it to here.

At an erotic hypnosis conference some time ago now (phew, probably over a year ago now), someone did a class on "bratting as a service" or similar, and they privately mentioned to me that the aforementioned writing was at least part of what inspired their class or some of the class material.  In hearing that, I realized I felt a bit off about that... uncomfortable... but I wasn't fully sure why.  I started reviewing the writing, and I started to write once more on how I felt on my current perspectives on the topic today.  After collecting the various scattered thoughts and putting some logic to the feelings, you get the writing that follows.  It took me a long time of off-and-on writing and sudden inspiration (and various bouts of brain going "I don't wanna" of course...), and I still can't promise it feels right.  But, you know, (1) when does anything one writes truly feel fully "right," and (2) I felt it worth posting something reviewing my past self to this level.  Also, "better" is the enemy of "done," and frankly, I feel this is worthwhile to put out there, both for myself and people who may feel similarly.

Hypnosis and Edge Play

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“Why Not Just Hypnotize Them to Do It?”

Cross-posted at FetLife at https://fetlife.com/users/79448/posts/5485995

So this is something I’d thought about for a while… in fact, I’d wrote a bit about the topic already, multiple times, bit-by-bit, but I hadn’t been quite satisfied enough with the writing to post at the time.   So, I left it be each time.

Then, months later, I get home from an erotic hypnosis conference, and it hits me like a ton of bricks: for 4 days, I was surrounded by anywhere from 100 to 350 people (not hyperbole), and I had had many conversations of all kinds… and there were a few things I never heard, which I then came home and heard at least once at at least every other general kink event I went to for over a month.  At least, meaning minimum.  It’s a harsh reminder that, while general kinksters get a lot of what I’m about, I still don’t feel fully comfortable getting into what I enjoy among a general kink audience, because of awkwardness, or shame, or worry, or, best case scenario, frustration.

You see, moving through the general kink scene as a hypnofetishist can be… interesting.  It’s not the most commonly discussed fetish, at least not as a fetish or kink, so I’ve seen even a kink veteran’s eyes light up with that look of “I just got a fresh new toy” and another’s go to strong concern and questioning.

I just f’ing love the “New awesome thing!” look, that feeling, that sentiment, it’s one of the multiple reasons I love to teach hypnosis topics (in addition to the whole “Come into the flock!  One of us! One of us!” thing).

That said, however, people often can be uninformed and say things without thinking anything of it… or, sometimes, they do think about it and make broad assumptions… and I recognize that sometimes broad assumptions may be made for very good reason, like only bad apple(s) as a frame of reference, and sometimes because they have no frame of reference at all.  And many times, I fall back on analogy and metaphor comparing to a “more common” kink that isn’t hypnosis, which you’ll see at various points in this writing, and encourage you to do so, as well.

Before I go any further, if any one person or group thinks I am speaking to them specifically… well, I’ve lost count of how many times and how many people, from all over, I’ve heard these and similar from over the course of a decade exploring the kink scene in-person (and about 1-2 years of mostly-online and private play before finding an entry point to the scene local to me by finding FetLife).  So, if any of these statements sound like you, no, I’m not targeting you or specifying you, but there is the possibility that I have thought on some of these things while talking with you.