“Why Not Just Hypnotize Them to Do It?”

Cross-posted at FetLife at https://fetlife.com/users/79448/posts/5485995

So this is something I’d thought about for a while… in fact, I’d wrote a bit about the topic already, multiple times, bit-by-bit, but I hadn’t been quite satisfied enough with the writing to post at the time.   So, I left it be each time.

Then, months later, I get home from an erotic hypnosis conference, and it hits me like a ton of bricks: for 4 days, I was surrounded by anywhere from 100 to 350 people (not hyperbole), and I had had many conversations of all kinds… and there were a few things I never heard, which I then came home and heard at least once at at least every other general kink event I went to for over a month.  At least, meaning minimum.  It’s a harsh reminder that, while general kinksters get a lot of what I’m about, I still don’t feel fully comfortable getting into what I enjoy among a general kink audience, because of awkwardness, or shame, or worry, or, best case scenario, frustration.

You see, moving through the general kink scene as a hypnofetishist can be… interesting.  It’s not the most commonly discussed fetish, at least not as a fetish or kink, so I’ve seen even a kink veteran’s eyes light up with that look of “I just got a fresh new toy” and another’s go to strong concern and questioning.

I just f’ing love the “New awesome thing!” look, that feeling, that sentiment, it’s one of the multiple reasons I love to teach hypnosis topics (in addition to the whole “Come into the flock!  One of us! One of us!” thing).

That said, however, people often can be uninformed and say things without thinking anything of it… or, sometimes, they do think about it and make broad assumptions… and I recognize that sometimes broad assumptions may be made for very good reason, like only bad apple(s) as a frame of reference, and sometimes because they have no frame of reference at all.  And many times, I fall back on analogy and metaphor comparing to a “more common” kink that isn’t hypnosis, which you’ll see at various points in this writing, and encourage you to do so, as well.

Before I go any further, if any one person or group thinks I am speaking to them specifically… well, I’ve lost count of how many times and how many people, from all over, I’ve heard these and similar from over the course of a decade exploring the kink scene in-person (and about 1-2 years of mostly-online and private play before finding an entry point to the scene local to me by finding FetLife).  So, if any of these statements sound like you, no, I’m not targeting you or specifying you, but there is the possibility that I have thought on some of these things while talking with you.

Only One Kink?

So I was flirting with someone recently, fairly relentlessly and near-constantly for days straight, but at some point, their insecurities and such led to them telling me reasons they knew I wasn't interested in them.  I have things I can say on that single sentence premise alone (and might later, or elsewhere, depending on my mood), but this post is about one specific reason that they gave: I only have one kink, and she has a lot of kinks, and most of them she figured I wasn't interested in.  Now, with the exception of one, we didn't ever really touch on what that list of "a lot of kinks" were, but my "only one" kink is pretty obvious: hypnokink.  And that comment, in and of itself, bothered me almost instantly.

First of all, anyone who sees me as more than "person who does hypnosis" and gets to know me can tell that I have more kinks.  Maybe not more fetishes, if you're gonna be pedantic, but more kinks.  The main thing that bothered me is that, even in talking about what we were interested in, talking about how what each of us liked... all she thought about with me was just the fact that hypnosis would be included, and that's it.  Not about what I'd like, what I'd do with it, what I'd be interested in from her interests... just "hypnosis guy."  Don't get me wrong, I can work with being the local hypnokink expert and such, but I don't like being just "the hypnosis guy," you know?  There's a lot of facets to me, to how I play, to what it is that I do and want to do, and I'm not a fan of being filtered down to something so simple-sounding.

Even if I didn't have other interests myself, many kinks can be serviced by, met, or merged with hypnokink.  Power exchange, caregiving, bondage, various forms of roleplay, pet play, tickling, just to name a few varied ones (which, by the way, count among things I'm personally interested in to some degree... "only one kink"... ahem...).  And this bothered me partly because it's a common issue of mine: Some people are used to thinking "I'm not into that one kink, so I can't get anything out of it," without talking about it, because, well, that's the case for a variety of other kinks!  If you're not into bondage, you probably won't jump into bondage equipment or into being tied up.  If you're not into impact play, you probably won't immediately pick up a flogger or get up on a St. Andrews Cross to be whacked.  If you hate electrical play, you'll stay clear of violet wands.  Now, if you have a problem with someone getting into your head, or you fear what's there yourself, then I get avoiding hypnosis, fully understandable.  But for those who are simply not personally interested in hypnosis, it always mildly frustrates me that rather than asking "what would you do with that," some jump to "I'm not into that thing, so I'll be over here."  I get it, but it does frustrate me.  This person wasn't saying such, not saying they did... but the "only one kink" thing made me think of these frustrations.

The last of the things that bothered me about the "only one kink" sentiment?  Only one kink implies that one isn't good enough, or is not satisfactory for anyone, or that one's being graded by how many kinks one is into.  You can have a single kink and be quite amazing.  You can have none, that's fine!  You can have several, too, and there's no problem with that.  That said, having several doesn't mean you're great with any of them (just like having several years under your belt doesn't mean you're the best around).  That's not saying anything of chemistry between people and how one may not enjoy a particular kink or combination of kinks with anyone but someone they have strong chemistry with.

So this is a nice, long rant about how much it bothers me to see what I do or want to do as "only one kink."  Now this one person, I'm fairly certain, was just not thoughtful about her words, but these sentiments all exist out there for real, I've ran into them multiple times, and so I can't help but be bothered by them, or by someone being thoughtless about them.  Here's hoping that my rant, in addition to simply letting me vent, also helps someone be a bit less thoughtless in the future.

First (K)inklings from Early in the Journey...

A writing challenge was started among some friends on FetLife recently, and frankly, it inspired me to write, so here ya go.

Here's a link to the Writing Challenge, for reference.  And for those who aren't on FetLife, here's the meat of the writing challenge:

• I want to learn about how you first realised that you wanted something outside the norm, that you wanted more than just vanilla.
• How did you end up here?
• Are you brand new, or are you far into your journey?
• Have you managed to live out your kinks yet or are they still in the realm of fantasy?

(X-posting with my FetLife writings, with only minor edits in the intro)

So, I've written in general about how I've gotten started with erotic hypnosis before, sort of, but not in terms of overall kink journey, so I'll write here as though I haven't written about it before.

*takes a deep breath in to start*

So my realization of kink interests was later than a good deal of people I know, but I was still young adult at the time (I know some people discover this kinda thing in 40's and 50's, so just being fair here).  When I was a senior in college, my sleep cycle was all over the place and I was unable to get to sleep at a normal hour, and after seeing a random stage show hosted by my college, I decided to research self-hypnosis to try to fix that, I was curious about hypnosis intellectually.  I researched as best I could online, looked up e-books, seeing what had been written up in various places, not trusting any information unless I saw it 3 or more times.  I eventually was successful with helping get my sleep on track, mostly just by getting myself to a point where I was not just tired, but half-asleep, at a proper hour.

After I was successful with myself that way, I realized I could likely hypnotize others if I wished to... and my mind pretty much defaulted to erotic thoughts pretty quickly.  Best way I could articulate it is this: "If a hypnotist can make another more giggly and happy, or sad and teary-eyed... why not aroused, excited, etc.?  And if a hypnotist can make another itchy or tickled... why not erotic pleasure?" (both the "giggly/happy" and the "itchy sensations" and the "tickled sensations" being common stage show antics, for reference).  I knew I wanted something "kinky" at around that point, that I wanted something different... but all I knew was a single kink, and I was clueless on other kinks.
 There were multiple forums and groups for people interested in hypnosis erotically, and some groups had "databases" of people interested in doing hypnosis with others and in what context (erotically, just innocent fun, etc., and as hypnotist, subject, or either/or), which is how I got to practice initially.

Then one of the forums pointed out "CollarMe" (now CollarSpace... and it was almost as much a cesspool then as it is now... almost) had "hypnosis" listed as an fetish in its list.  I made a profile, and eventually met my first longer-term (long distance) D/s play partner.  I'd met others that enjoyed D/s before, but this was the first one I had chemistry with in terms of power exchange and showed me I enjoyed and could really get into the Dominant role.  I still had a shit ton to learn and figure out, but I figured out a lot about me with her.  I didn't "need" power exchange, but I very much enjoyed it (a significant difference between then and now, D/s is an important piece to me now).  I also met the first girl I'd end up playing with in person... we didn't have chemistry, but that meet up was partially how I ended up vetted to meet up with @MentalConfetti several years later, so that's a thing.  I wrote about that whole experience on Tumblr a while back, check it out here.

Eventually, another group pointed out this fairly new website, FetLife, and that an Erotic Hypnosis group had already been created there.  Heck, living in Connecticut, a "New England Hypnosis Group" was formed... damn right I was joining that, a local group, where meeting multiple people with this specific interest in person might actually happen?  Hell yes.  That group met several times at places/times I couldn't make it to... eventually meeting at the fairly local dungeon, The Society of CT (wrote about that experience here, also on Tumblr).  It was my first time actually seeing S&M and see other people doing their power exchange things... and man I felt like a bit of an outsider... but at the same time... it felt homey.  Eventually, I became a member there, observed a lot, discussed a lot, got a lot of diverse perspectives.

I've been part of or was there for some hypnokink groups forming, I've observed several start from a distance, as well as several conferences start from almost nothing into decent-sized cons for something I'd still consider at least semi-niche... I've watched some groups of all sorts, hypnokink or general kink, just die out and others evolve to something completely different from what they were, some for better, some for worse... Ten years is a lot of time for things to change.

I eventually met my girl @MentalConfetti during that time, and it's shocking looking back that we've actually been together for more than half of my time exploring kink, she's been a large part of my time in the scene at this point, and I know I've been a significant part of hers (since she didn't get a lot of opportunity to explore until we met, though I'd be interested in seeing her follow up on this writing challenge, too, *cough*).  Part of how I've gotten here is just exploring things with her and ensuring she knows I trust her perspective.

So, at this point, definitely pretty significantly into my kink journey, as should be obvious (TL;DR?), and I've definitely lived out my kinks in reality far more than some others ever do... and I've been at it long enough that, honestly, I have to actually figure out again what it is I want today, as it's different than it used to be.  I'm not done, though, and never intend to be, just time to rekindle myself in some manner.  Not expecting things to be significantly different, but that's part of the journey is keeping on the tracks, sometimes finding the tracks again, or getting off at one stop and getting onto the next train, you know?

Exploring My Style of Play

On Tumblr, @jonsmisu recently asked about where people get their ideas for hypnosis play, and in writing out my initial response, I realized I'd derail a good bit... so I revised my response, but what I was saying was still stuff I wanted to talk about... so here ya go!

A lot of people focus on what their hypnosis suggestions are gonna be, are they gonna tie the subject up, freeze them, give them pleasure, orgasms, orgasm denial, etc.  I... only touch on that, really.  I figure out the barebones on-the-spot or briefly beforehand in considering what I know of them and what we negotiated (ex. "Ok, no touching, ok with imaginary sensations in erotic areas, they love bondage, want to be dominated, sexual pleasure's fine but not a goal...") and figure out a short list of things I enjoy or would enjoy doing that tick those boxes for them.  Basic stuff, right?  I'd say yes, but never underestimate what'll give someone a revelation.  So yea, I touch on what the suggestions in general will be... but that's not my main focus, generally.

So, then, where is my focus, then, right?

That's Why...

So my girl, MentalConfetti, and I were resting in bed at night, about to go to sleep.  We both were on our sides, I was facing toward the back of her head.  We were chit chatting a bit, but it was slowing down as we were getting to the point of sleep, when she asks the following: "You know, it's times like this I wonder why we never put in a 'Sleep Mode: Activate' kind of-"

At this point, I place my hand on the side of her head and gently-but-assertively push her head into her pillow, wait a second of silence, and I comment, "That's why."

Several more seconds of silence later, I smirk and simply say, "Good night, my dear."
In a meek, soft, tranced out voice, I hear, "Good night, Master..."

NEEHU7: Phoenix Rising

During NELA’s winter Fetish Fair Fleamarket in 2016 (mid-February), MentalConfetti and I had bought, among other things, a lovely silk outfit (from Reyen Design Studios, btw) in various shades of yellow, orange, and red, meshing together: a top, a dress, and a wide veil/scarf of sorts.  I say this as on Saturday afternoon/evening, when kitchen work was all done (as Saturday’s dinner was specifically for volunteers and presenters, and was delivery food, so, ya know, not volunteer-handled), this is what my girl was wearing.  Actually, it was the first time she wore it (about 1 month after buying it).  There were a couple of joking comments thrown around of “Hmm… if I didn’t know any better, I’d say… you like fire?” (FYI: she taught a class titled "Flaming Hypnosis."  Take from that what you will.).

So that said, my girl had requested that, later in the evening when neither she nor I were in the middle of anything, if I could transform her into a phoenix.  Just a side note… I’m honestly wondering if I was the only one that did a “physical transformation” scene that didn’t involve pain IN the transformation throughout NEEHU7… not a problem with that, just surprise.  Anyway, a phoenix… yea, sure, I could see that.

NEEHU7: "I AM! ...Yours..."

So leading up to NEEHU7, I was in communication with my pet, Katrina.  She knew she’d do her damnedest to attend the second she knew the date, as NEEHU6 was amazing for her and there’d be most/all of her favorite people there.  As soon as MentalConfetti and I both promised she wouldn’t need to sacrifice more than a couple of hours, Katrina signed up for volunteering, and knew she’d be helping out to make peoples’ con time great (including other volunteers: more on that in a bit.  Katrina: good girl).  Then, days prior, she had worries of just how much of NEEHU7 she’d have to miss because of people that aren’t paid enough to give a shit about other people… regardless, and thankfully, she was able to arrive Friday evening, just in time to work on Friday meet n’ greet treats and allow everyone to get food they needed, including volunteers.  She gets in and texts me, “I’m here” she says.  So, of course, I rush out of the class I was in (just really there to review anyway), we get her checked in (a tad bit more complicated than expected: always make sure you get a confirmation e-mail on ticket payment, folks) and I tease her a touch… with touch… and after all her bags and coat are stowed away, “Service sub needs service!”  Well, just in time for Friday evening food work, do we have a job for you!

NEEHU6: Friday Daytime

This post is mostly about classes, thoughts, discussions, and concepts ran through.  If you want the hot stuff, you’ll see it in Friday night.  However, if thoughts, ideas, and discussions about kink are within your interest in this moment, continue for more of this post.

So this morning was a fairly normal morning.  We each got up, MentalConfetti, Katrina, and I, and we each got down to breakfast in the hotel cafeteria area in our own time.  I caught MentalConfetti in the last 15 minutes before she headed off to The Society to handle morning kitchen duties, and sat back for breakfast with DrHeadCrash, Fleur_, and panavatar, with Katrina eventually joining us.  Katrina agreed without hesitation to drive me to The Society, since Confetti and I came in the same car.  Btw, I like me a hotel that has a free continental breakfast that includes French toast and sausage patties and links… mmm…

Anyway, after a brief adventure of seeing how the GPS got us to The Society, I promised to show Katrina the more direct route next time (it’s approximately 0.7 miles and maybe 1 minute longer, so GPS no likey).  We got in at about 10am, just as the first classes were starting… and there was a line to the registration desk at the front (going up the hallway inside, not outside) about… hmm, at least 20 people long, I’d assume.  It wasn’t long at all before Mephki was running up and down the line telling us “Classes are starting!  Go ahead and go to classes, you can register later,” the part she didn’t include is that she recognized basically everyone in the line, and some of the people in the line were presenters for 10am classes, but meh.  The schedule had a ton of good classes, including the first classes of the morning, but I wasn’t in a “sit still in a class” mood, and apparently neither was Katrina, so we got our badge stuff and all the info we needed, along with a schedule for Friday.

NEEHU6: A Preface and Thursday

I’m going to preface all talk of NEEHU6 by mentioning that I was feeling pretty introverted and disinterested in crowds throughout the entire weekend, while still wanting to be around people.  I very much looked forward to NEEHU, to seeing so many rarely-seen familiar faces, online voices, and online personalities, both that I’ve met at former *EEHUs and the ones I only have known from online conversations and discussions.  But from the very first moment, I would’ve also been fine with sticking myself in a corner and just listening for about 50% - 75% of the entire event, as long as I got to see these awesome people.

I both wanted to be involved, help out, and not have to be involved, if that makes sense?

2013-2014 AmHypnotic Tumblr Post Link Archive

So through 2013-2014, I had a Tumblr blog for a little bit of time with no other place to searchably-blog, and I've been looking at Blogger for a while for that and more.  Tumblr has its place, but getting original insights, education, thoughts, musings... Tumblr currently does not feel like the place for it to me.

Tumblr does, however, feel wonderful for advertisement, random casual stuff, sharing favorite things, and yes, porn (often without citing where the fuck the porn is from or who the model(s) are, *sigh...*)

Because of that, I figure what I'll start doing is post my own original stuff here, and leave Tumblr for a mix of linking to this blog and reblogging random shit I find amusing.

So what about the stuff already written at Tumblr throughout 2013-2014?  I'll mostly link them in a single historical archive post, so to speak.
Welcome, this is that post.

The only things I won't link here: my intro post (intro post on this blog's mostly identical) and posts that don't really have content, i.e. "topic fishing" posts.

Best to assume all links below go to posts that are NSFW unless otherwise specified as "SFW"

Look Into My Eyes: A Musing About My Favorite D/s Style Induction
First Erotic Hypnosis Event, First Time at The Society
Kink’s Version of Networking… (not hypnosis)
Hypnosis: Just What Can You Do With It Anyway? (sfw)
Hypnosis Presentation Ideas - Performed, Strongly-Considered, or Only-Half-Fleshed-Out (sfw, note: out of date, not updated)
(Hypnosis:) Not a Panacea (sfw)
And now, a talk on trance junkies… (sfw)
Switches in the Scene… and the Most Common Misunderstanding…
Whose opinion, time, and energy matters?
Kink Relationships, and One’s Priorities (not hypnosis)
Things I Love In Play
Thanksgiving, 2013 (not hypnosis)
Distraction Needed? Here, have a demo, and play partners, and…
"I Just Got My Boobs Today!"
The Kind of Moments I Love in Hypno Kink Play…
Consensual Nonconsent, Mind Control, and Hypnofetish…
"Well, I Don’t Think Hypnosis Will Work On Me Because…" (sfw)
Beginnings, and Gradual Build Up
Fetish Fair Fleamarket #34, Or My First Big Kink Convention
One Pitfall of Conditioned Response to Hypno-Voice (sfw)
"You Did Nothing!" (sfw)
“You Got Me All Sweaty!”

Feel free to comment to this blog OR to the Tumblr side of things if you want to say anything about specific posts.

Now then, onward, to enjoy more shtuffs here!

Intro to AmHypnotic

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